Is it too early in the season to already be complaining about the snow? My office is up on the Salt Lake benches and my newest anxiety is slipping on the ice and breaking multiple body parts, including baby.
I have perfected the "grandma shuffle" over many a Utah winter while walking over icy terrain. About 6 or 7years ago I was walking to work at the University of Utah Bookstore and fell and broke my wrist on a particularly icy morning. I was never nervous about walking on the ice until that morning.
But now that I'm 9 months pregnant, all semi-normalcy has been thrown out the window and I am now Grade A crazy. I flagged down a construction worker the other day to help me walk from my car across the ice rink and into my office building. He was very nice but I could tell he was very puzzled by the encounter. When we got inside I unzipped my parka and he saw the massive belly and I think he finally understood. well, I hope so at least. I know that people look at me and think I'm nuts when they see this 20-something woman scooting her feet slowly across the ice taking teeny tiny baby steps.
Whenever Hot Pocket and I take our winter walks, 80% of the conversation is me blabbing on and on about the dangers of improper snow removal techniques. Don't just plow or shovel and call it good! Use salt, people! Or sand! Simply packing down the snow to create a slippery area of death makes me want to rip your face off! Dude, I can't even imagine what I'm going to be like as an elderly old woman but I now totally see the appeal of moving to Florida 5 months out of the year.
I'm contemplating buying a walker to help me through this last couple of weeks. You know, the walkers with the little tennis balls on the ends? I always liked neon green and have always been particularly fond of tennis. I might even string up some lights and tinsel to make it festive for the holidays. I don't think that I would draw attention to myself at all.
**PS. I'm starting to dilate and i'm already 60-70% effaced. Looks like we might be taking a trip to the hospital sooner than we thought!
2 comments:
I think a walker would be a good idea for you! I feel like you'd need the full ensemble, though. You'll need to pick these up:
1. Elastic waist mom jeans
2. Cheesy holiday applique sweater (may be substituted w/ a well worn sweatshirt purchased at a gift shop 30 years ago)
3. Ankle socks with pom-poms on the back of the ankle
4. Shock white orthopedic sneakers
5. A large white purse, complete with used tissues, Original scent Vaseline lotion, and menthol throat drops.
P.S. Good luck with the baby thing!! SO exciting!
I hope we both live a very long time so I can see you when you're really old! You're the cutest grandma EVER!
:)
Candace
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